all in a day’s mindset: tackling the to-dos

I’m a nerd. A to-do list nerd, especially. I like having a focus—or several—for the day and earning that sense of satisfaction when things get checked off the list.

Yet I’m continually refining the art of to-do list making. I go back and forth between paper and pen lists versus the kind I make in a Word document. Or a bullet point list on my phone. The tactile pleasure of the pen and paper route is great. There’s an added sense of accomplishment in physically striking something off the list. But the computer document has a great function, too, if I don’t let it get out of control: I can amend the day’s to-dos as I move along.

Where the computer doc causes trouble is two-fold: 1) I can continually add to-dos to the day, thus making it impossible to truly accomplish everything and 2) I tend to erase what I have accomplished, so at the end of the day all I see is what I haven’t done.

So I did an experiment this week (as I tend to do such things). I made a new document of to-dos and every time I completed a task, I crossed it out—rather than deleted the item. This was a test to see if I actually found more satisfaction in seeing what’s been done for the day. The result? Sure. There was some joy in seeing checked off items.

The real result, though, is the realization that no matter how I project my day’s activities, I always set overachieving goals. For whatever reason, I can’t bring myself to list just one or two things to do in a day. I aim high, do my best, and push the rest to the next day, or the next. It’s how I operate. And that’s okay. For me, it works. 

I love fantasizing about a super-organized life. One that has a place for everything, and where everything is in its place. One that has a to-do list of achievable goals for each day, and that’s checked off in true Martha Stewart fashion. But I’m not Martha. I’m me. Chaotic, imperfect, organized-in-my-own-dysfunctional-way me. And that’s a good thing.

A Bad Blogger in A Good Year

I’m not a bad person, I just do bad things.

Things To Do

Wait. I don’t mean bad things. I mean I do things—or don’t do things—that make me feel guilty. Guilty for not doing things or guilty for should-be-doing things. Guilty for not doing enough of the right things. Sounds a bit crazy and confusing? It is. It can be.

I like order. I like lists. I take pride in my to-do lists, even when they are a key source of self-loathing when I fail to accomplish impossible and over-achieving goals set for each day. I somehow feel that setting unrealistic goals motivates me to accomplish the majority of my ambitions; aim for the stars and maybe you'll reach the sky, or something John Lubbock said. 

My process is nothing new. I have written about this self-defeating/self-fulfilling strategic plan before:

“I have deliberately sabotaged nearly every day of my writing life with my to-do list. It is aggressive. It is unrealistic. It demonstrates my illusions of grandeur....Yet I continue to carry on this habit, this self-punishment. Because it works for me.”

From “The Not-To-Do List,” Passages North, May 2012

Each year I take stock of things I accomplished, things I didn’t quite check off the list, and, eventually, this transitions into setting goals for the year ahead. This all translates into more lists: lists of accomplishments,

More Things

lists of to-dos right now, lists of to-dos for the new year, lists to remind myself how I, and we, can exercise literary citizenship. I sometimes make lists of lists to make.

So, as December winds its way down, I’m drawn into my usual end-of-year assessment. Last year was apparently “A Tale of 100 Submissions.” In the middle of 2013, I did some self-reflecting and paid mind to needing to downsize some ambitions in order to accomplish bigger goals and keep my sanity. But I also swore to myself that I would not be a hypocrite and that I would, seriously, make my blog more of a priority. I changed up the blog design and set goals publicly—and then failed to execute what I set out to do.

It’s not that blogging is a make or break activity that defines whether or not I am a good person. I actually want to be consistent with my blog. I enjoy writing posts—for myself and for my readers. But the guilt also sets in when I think of emerging and fellow writers who turn to me in my social media workshops and who consider that I know something about this stuff. You’re a full-time writer! You’re good at all that social media stuff! You’re so organized! Oh, please. I’m human. I’m flawed in the most fumbling ways.

That means, in the big picture to-do list of priorities, the blog usually suffers.

These Other Things

In 2013, counting posts only before today, I posted a humbling 37 times to my blog. That’s a little embarrassing. Rather than wallow in my guilt, though, I’m taking action. I’m posting today, obviously, but I’ve also been making notes and plans for topics I’d like to blog about. I have a handsome list (!) accumulating blog post plans and I’m genuinely excited to write more for this venue.

And, really, I don’t feel too bad about being a bad blogger this year. It’s been a great year for me, otherwise. I’ve been busy—overwhelmingly so, but in ways that I feel so blessed to count as Good Things Accomplished in 2013. I traveled—for business and pleasure—to twenty states and two provinces. I worked with the wonderful editorial team at Accents Publishing in preparation for the new poetry book, Square Feet. I finished polishing a new nonfiction book that was contracted this year by Bloomsbury and will be published in late 2014. And I checked so many little—but important-to-me—tasks

Enabling Thing

off my to-do list that I can’t feel bad about not accomplishing everything I set out to do this year. I can’t feel that bad about not blogging more than I did.

But I can aim higher for the year to come. I can accomplish something as simple as posting more often on my blog. I will make this a goal and I will put a realistic plan into action. Which brings me back to assessing the year that was, planning for the year to come, and having fun creating a full-of-hope, full-of-ambition new list of to-dos. Because old habits die hard and I do love those lists…

It looks like I’m going to need a bigger coffee cup for 2014.

2012: a tale of 100 submissions

I am a compulsive to-do list maker so it’s no surprise that as one year comes to a close and another makes its presence known I am sucked in with list making, spreadsheet formatting, and resolution drafting.

I treat this time of year not as a time to plot unrealistic fantasies, but a time to reflect on what I have (or have not) accomplished in the closing year and to plan for what I wish to accomplish in the coming year. Project managers use the SMART plan (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timed) to set goals that can become a reality. I tend to follow this as I have proven to myself that it works. Or, at least, it works enough to keep up the game every year, and every other time I feel the need to reconsider my goals—which happens at least twice per year.

We writers do not always have instant gratification on our side. We often don’t even know if a completed project will find success beyond the (major) accomplishment of completing said project. We can wait. We can wonder. But once a project is out of our hands, it is out of control. So I focus on what I and I alone can control and set my goals as such. That way, I am accountable for what I do (or don’t do) and can celebrate on my terms.

For example, I truly wanted to increase the number of my submissions to journals this year. The year earlier had been particularly busy, so 2012 was my year to improve that and I aimed to end the year on a better note. I did. The goal I set was to send out 100 submissions to journals. This seemed like a massive number compared to 2011’s sad dozen. Yet I wasn’t willing to make simultaneous subs, either, just for the sake of letting the numbers add up more quickly. I wanted to be selective, too.

There’s a funny thing, though, about wanting to do something and making it happen. In between those moments, the work must be done. When March rolled around and I had one lonely submission out there (thanks to a hectic start of the year), I knew it was time to step it up. So I did. And between March 8 and Dec 16, I made my goal. Had I submitted more in the latter part of December, I would have trumped those numbers, but… that’s a goal for next year, now, isn’t it?

In the end, for 2012, here is what resulted from that one goal:
100 journal submissions (poetry, short stories, and creative nonfiction)
11 have been accepted to date
22 have not yet received a response
67 received rejections

Do the rejections bum me out? Not in the slightest. Those rejections are proof that I fulfilled my end of the bargain. 67 rejections means I sent my work out there. Rejections are inevitable and are what fill in the gap between those other wonderful numbers: 11 new acceptances for the year and 22 potential pieces of good news yet to come in the New Year. I’ll take it.

Notice, too, I have only referred to submissions made to journals.

As it stands right now, I also have 3 book-length manuscripts sitting on the desks of editors…. for which I have not yet heard back about, but can hope good news will come in 2013.

So, I could
a) sit on my duff for the next year and await responses from 3 books and 22 journal submissions and still feel like I have work out there and am doing something, or
b) do the realistic thing and that is to submit more, again, and keep doing what I’m doing, what we all do. We write. We submit. We set and accomplish our goals and hope for the best with what’s no longer in our control. 

May you all have many, many rejections in 2013. Because that will mean you are doing your job. That will mean you have done the work, taken a chance, and probably have at least one reason to celebrate your successes. 

Happy New Year and best wishes for 2013.

p.s. If you haven’t already, please do check out my revamped website (which was also a goal for 2o12). Next up? Improving and renovating this blog!